A Little Drama at Work

Awhile ago, I wrote a post about my struggle at work on how video games motivate me in my life. A lot has happened in between since that post.  Things did normalize for a bit but then got crazy. There has been some ongoing drama at work that I don’t even need to watch Korean drama to be entertained. I get enough dose of entertainment at work.  Yeah, that’s how bad it was. On the positive note, I gain the respect from my boss. He told me I have good work ethic and I’m the nicest person in the world.  Wow, what a nice compliment! You can thank my mom.  She taught me to be polite.  My alter ego can be actually disturbing. I prefer alone time, killing demons or blowing things up in virtual reality. It calms me down.

Sounds like I have a dual personality. I am not fake. It’s just being courteous.  At work, things can get really stressful because meeting deadline is a big thing there and when we are tired and under pressure, it’s hard not to make mistakes.  Some people take it personally and unfortunately, some people are not always friendly and cooperative. One of the girls from my department couldn’t get along with other girls.  She was really mean and nasty to the point some people did not want to approach her. She eventually quit. It’s a shame as she was really bright. I really wish she had more patience, and most of all, I wish she wasn’t so hard and critical on herself. I know she was suffering from anxiety. She told me she got a lot of pressure from her mom about her weight and her overall look. Personally, I think she is really cute. I get it.  It’s hard to accept yourself when the Asian mom is critical.

This work incident made me think of the game I played earlier this year: Virtue’s Last Reward.  The text below helped me cope during those difficult times. I don’t think she was aware her mean talk was like a knife. It cuts people up and reduce them to little particles. For awhile, I wanted to quit my job. She was so unpleasant.  With that attitude, no one wins in the end. Humans can achieve great things if they work together and respect one another. In the end, I think all of us just want to do our our work and go home so we can sleep soundly. I know I want to go to bed having pleasant dreams. Oh I was so annoyed. I broke out from stress just thinking about it.

Zero Escape: The Nonary Games_20180407173018I hope the girl understand that grown ups should learn to cooperate. You are still a child, if you think the world center around you.

Anyway, in the upcoming future, I plan to play Final Fantasy VIII because it’s my brother’s favorite Final Fantasy game, and I want to write an in- depth analysis and share it on this blog. Why not?  Writing and talking about games casually can be quite fun. It helps me release stress. But first I need to complete Shenmue. It may take a couple more months at this rate.  There should be a trophy for the slowest gamer on the planet because that’s really me.

Until next time, take good care of yourself and Happy Halloween!

 

 

Reflection Time: Video Games & Films

Recently Extra Life nominated me for the the Sunshine Award.  It made me smile as I appreciate the thought. But strangely, I was having a hard time answering his questions as I don’t have strong opinions about the film industry generally even though I have watched a handful of good films in my lifetime. I think I am a rather picky person when it comes to films.  If a film fails to grab my attention within the 30 minutes, I just quit watching it.  I have more patience with games than films because they are interactive. His questions, however, made me reflect about games and its relation to films and how I feel about it as a consumer. So I write my thoughts here and skip the tagging since I couldn’t answer some of the questions properly.

Back in 2011, I took Silent Cinema course  not necessarily because I am a film enthusiast, but I needed the credit.  To my surprise, I am really glad I did because I enjoyed the course a lot. I learned how films evolved overtime from something that was used for scientific purposes to entertaining the masses. In the early 1900s, the average person include the working class begin to have more time to watch films. It was a great escape and a cheap alternative to vacation. Similarly, I can see how video games can offer the same instant gratification. I enjoy traveling, but I was never the type who have a lot of energy in the first place.   Video games allow my brain to roam and since I’m the introvert type, I do enjoy doing single activities, which unfortunately society called people like me anti-social, which in truth, I don’t suffer from social anxiety and can be quite sociable. I just prefer some alone time to function as a proper human being. But of course, I’m one type of consumer. Some people play games causally and to past time. And there’s nothing wrong with that!  I remember a friend asked me to bring my Wii because I wouldn’t visit her without it. She actually really enjoyed playing games with me. We had a good time. Video games, despite its bad connotation as a social deviant activity, it is actually replacing films and becoming the new form of entertainment for the masses. There are different types of games for people to enjoy like how there are different types of music for people to listen.  So the term”gamer” is kind of outdated because it no longer distinguishes a particular group of people from the rest of the society as if there is something wrong with gamers. The correct term these days, might just be a gaming enthusiast.

Taking Silent Cinema course, made me understand why Last of Us was so successful and why it is appealing. It has that film aesthetic and the gameplay is extremely casual.  I could play the game during the weekdays after work without putting a lot of mental energy into completing it. Therefore, I think the game deserves it success, although I don’t think the medium should be ashamed of itself and try to morph into something else more mature (film). Video game has the potential to grow.  Don’t try to change its essence, which boils down to gameplay. This really got me thinking why I prefer Japanese games over western games. Japanese games are more experimental and don’t throw away the “gameplay” aspect even though it tried to imitate films (Silent Hill series is the perfect example).  However, Japanese developers can learn a lot from western developers. I find western games to be more realistic and honestly I prefer the realistic style over the animated cute style. But that’s just preference.

I have some friends who are more than a decade older than me. I get along with them pretty well. My new friend from work is a very beautiful, intelligent woman in her 60s. She was once a manager for a video store. She watched hundreds of films during that time she worked there so she can sell them. I have been discovering good films and books because of her lately.  She has good taste. We both have the same personality actually.  Unfortunately, it’s the age difference that set us apart. Lack of knowledge about games make it hard for older folks to  accept video game as a respectable medium. I believe some games do have the same aesthetic as great films.  I am pretty sure when I am her age, I can see myself becoming an expert in games and most likely still play video games (quality games). Then I can see myself becoming critical of the younger generation for the lack of taste in entertainment. Whatever the future holds, who knows.

I will end this post by answering one of Extra Life’s questions. My favorite film decade is probably the 1960s.  I love watching old shows such as Come Drink with MeBreakfast Tiffany’s and The Twilight Zone. When it comes to animation, I like anything from the 1980s.  But honestly, anything that have thoughtful dialogue would instantly captivate me.  To me, great art is timeless and it doesn’t belong to a certain era.

 

 

 

My Video Games Shopping List (Part II)

There were only a few games I am interested  from watching E3. It’s a good thing. This will give me a chance to clear my backlog and help me save up money for bigger things.  I got some big plans at the end of this year.  It all work out just fine.

So I will name the games I am looking forward to here. Not all of them are from watching the E3 event.

#1 Bayblon’s Fall

Reminds me of Xenoblade Chronicles/ White Knight Chronicles.

#2 Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice

Honestly, this trailer makes me worrisome as it reminds me of Nioh.   Even though I have a hard time getting into Nioh, I will attempt to play it again.  When I was playing Nioh  last year, my brain was already fried. I had way too many  things going on in my life.  I realized I have my limitation.  Brain is overheated. Need sleep.   I am willing to give Nioh another try though.  Some people prefer Nioh gaming mechanics over Dark Souls. I am a bit surprised because I didn’t really like how fast Nioh moves in comparison to Dark Souls. Every time I play this type of game, I do get the adrenaline rush–droplets of sweat dripping down my forehead.  Game can’t get intense sometimes.

I must admit, I am glad  FromSoftware is not making the same thing.  There are so many games out there that imitate Dark Souls success. It is rather annoying.  There is even a twitter account dedicated to that.

#3 Soul Calibur VI

I like fighting games because I like watching martial arts films.  Soul Calibur is my favorite fighting game franchise as it involves swords. I like hitting, cutting, hacking, and slicing things very much.  A great game to play to blow off some steam.

#4 Shenmue 1 & 2 Remastered

I never got the chance to play the first two installments. This will give me a chance to experience the game before Shenmue 3 release. I heard that the game came into development after being inspired by a musical piece.  I think this one of the games that have that romantic quality.  It reminds me so much of the international films (Hong Kong) I grew up watching as a kid.

That is my list of games.  These games will keep me busy for next few years.  Every time I told myself I am quitting games because modern games disappoint me, some new game come out looking all flashy, grabbing my attention, I find myself back to where I started.   So that’s why I give up trying to give up games.  It’s like telling a person to stop drinking tea.   Now if only have the proper time to enjoy them–it’s very difficult these days.  Adult life is so demanding.

P. S

My co-worker is excited for Last of Us II and asked me if I feel the same.  I actually  turned around so he can’t see me giggling.  People do have different taste in games surely.  Even though Last of Us never did appeal to me, I am actually currently playing the game so I can give my proper thoughts on it.

Playing Survival Mode at Work

Things have normalized in my working life. My quirky self have been accepted by the new peers. I’ll be honest, I am not like them–they are detailed-oriented, neat, and particular.  Those traits are admirable. I was a feeling a little out of place because I’m a bit sloppy but they are willing to cooperate with me.  They had to use video game analogy for me to understand how to do certain procedures since they know I like games very much.   When I think about video games in comparison to education–I don’t think they are too far apart–one is just more entertaining than the other.

Speaking of education, I think that is why I enjoyed taking the quizzes in D4: Dark Dreams Don’t Die If you are not familiar with the game,  there is a section where the player answers the steward’s quizzes. There are three parts: beginner, intermediate and advanced (if I can recall).  Gradually the rules get strict and unforgiving as you move to the next level. What an ingenious idea to belittle someone and insult their intelligence. This will make them study harder so they won’t become a dummy!   But please do not imitate this act in real life.   It’s not kind (yes I am talking to you mental abusers!).  Not everyone has the same learning ability, gifts and talents.  So working together is very important. We need each other to get through the day!!

cheney1

When there is a major change in life, it’s always uncomfortable getting used to new things  and there is always that temptation to run and go back to what is familiar. I am glad I got through it and gain some wisdom this last few stressful months. Thinking back in my life, there were several times I feel inadequate because I didn’t believe in myself and as a result, there were some missed opportunities.  In general,  if I play it safe all the time, I will never grow as a person.  That’s a big challenge because  I’m on the reserved side.  Learning from my past mistakes made the transition to the new department achievable.

It is kind of strange how I put so much energy at work that the last thing I want to do is come home and play games and think.  Although, I am close to completing Virtue Last Reward and halfway with Rule of Rose.

Well that’s it for now. I leave you folks with a pleasant song to listen to by the Beach House.  This song makes me feel very calm.

 

 

 

 

 

Sunshine Award

Thank you Lise for the Sunshine Award.   As mentioned in one of my posts, I appreciate the acknowledgement, but normally don’t like to participate in them. But since the questions you asked are answerable, and it helps give this blog some personality (I do enjoy reading these tags myself because I like to know the person behind the blog),  I’ll do it.

the-sunshine-blogger-award

I will answer three questions from Lise.  Three is a great number and I like to make things simple.

Here are the questions:

Question#1: What would be your ideal living situation?

I really like the interior design in Rogue Galaxy (PS2). I can live in its world.

Question #2: What would be your dream job? Do you already have it?

I remember watching my brother played Flashback on the Sega Genesis.  So I wanted to be like the guy in the game. So unrealistic because I am not fit for that type of job in reality. Now as I have gotten older, I care less about what I want to be but more about living a well-balanced life. I like working generally as long it’s beneficial for the society.

Question# 3: What does blogging mean to you?

I enjoy blogging.  Writing helps me put things into perspective. It really is just a place where I dump my thoughts about games since that’s the thing I enjoy talking about the most and of course writing and sharing poems.

Now, for the nominees:

I don’t follow a lot of people so it’s really hard to do the tagging.  When I do read someone’s post,  I do take my time to read it, which is why I probably get overwhelmed easily with information. It’s not always a bad thing, as long it’s good content.

Until next time, thank you for reading.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Okay To Take A Break From Games

Sometimes we play games to escape but forget to live our own lives. I tried to balance life, work and games.  I realized, I have been in a better mood ever since the sun is out. Like a cat, I like to sit by the window. Also taking Vitamin D pills prescribed by my doctor helped.  We just don’t get enough sunlight during the winter here.

Since I am in a good mood, I will share on how I de-stress because things have been intense at work to the point I asked boss to go home and rest. The last few days, I play Rule of Rose on and off.  If only I had more energy and time to invest, I want to play fighting games and there is that game called Ikaruga that I would like to master but it requires a lot of mental energy which is something I don’t have (damn you work!).  That’s okay.  At work,  I get a chance to play foosball with my attractive partner who resembles Chris Redfield (sorry ladies, he’s not straight).

RE5ChrisA
                     source

We make a good team. People are always shocked when we win. I think mainly because people didn’t expect the nice girl can be aggressive. The trick is really to stay calm and focused. If you get too anxious you would lose. I thank the skills I’ve learned from Dark Souls and my partner who, unlike Chris Redfield, has a gentle voice which made it easy for me to follow his instruction.  I do enjoy playing competitively and co-op from time to time.

Ah! Sorry for going off topic…here are ways I cope with stress, which are non-game related of course:

#1

Go for a walk. I prefer to walk in a park, but this walk was on my way back from a doctor’s appointment.  It was pleasant nonetheless because the sun was out. Haha

Walk#2

I watched Mushi-Shi every night to the point my brother jokingly accused me that Ginko is my husbando. Don’t make fun of my singleness, brother. I never thought of him like that even though Ginko and I share similar fate.  What attracted me to the anime is its eeriness, sorrowful and mystical tale.  Isn’t real life bittersweet? I think Mushi-Shi captivated that feeling very well.   I watched this anime more than once–both seasons. I like the soundtrack a lot. Typically, I don’t watch anime because I’m busy with games.   HAHA

Ginko

#3

Dump yourself in a bathtub filled with epsom salt. This actually was recommended by my co-workers who are into health and wellness. This really does help. I sleep better and feel more relaxed. You should try it too.

salt

 

Okay I can go on… but I will stop for now. I think I have already talked a lot about myself.  I know that not talking at all is not good for mental health, especially if you are somewhat of a hermit like me.  Letting things off of my chest makes me feel better.  Hope you took something useful out of this and let me know if your have different ways to cope with stress.  I’d love to learn about it.

Once I feel more physically stable, I still plan to write an analysis on Rule of Rose. Until next time, take care.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Video Games Motivate Me In Life

Holy mole-y, I am afraid I might turn into an expert on survival/horror games at this rate. That’s all I write about in this blog. I am currently playing  Rule of Rose and then Cat Lady. I will do a brief analysis on those games in the near future. I actually enjoy playing variety of games. I am not all goth.

It seems that there are new challenges and obstacles I’m facing in the worklife, and that’s where I am focusing my attention on.  It is causing me some stress. I wake up feeling a bit dreadful so it is hard to focus on games when I am thinking about work.  Not everyone have faith in my ability. I feel a little discouraged.  But like Xianghua from Soulcalibur series, I put on my hand on my hips and say, No way! I am not accepting defeat. Negative thoughts go away!

Xia
               photo source

I have doubts. I hate making mistakes, but I feel like a rookie, re-learning things. But I tell myself it’s okay.  All work is stressful.  Some may be a bit more stressful than others. Throughout my life I have had several jobs (“shitty” jobs) and I’ve learned that patience and perseverance are good skills at mastering things. My destiny is to climb on top of the mountains and sit on it.  One day, I will become a powerful, influential woman (maybe I am just dreaming. Hehe).

Thanks to a particular blogger, I don’t want to embarrass him by calling him out, but his gameplay style is very similar to mine except he is more knowledgeable about video games than me based on the number of games he played and I am pretty sure, he is far better than I am.   He confessed that he had to knock down the difficulty setting to easy just to learn the flow of the game. Sometimes starting on easy mode is not a bad thing.  I acknowledge I’m playing games on baby mode these days.  There is no shame in it. Sometimes games are just too hard.  But it’s better to learn it than give up completely. Beating a game is still quite rewarding regardless of the difficulty setting.

Some people think that gaming is a waste of time. Looking back, I never gave up on my goals. It just might take me longer to get there.  I spent my youth locked in my room playing games for hours.  Truth is, I am just a tomboy in a skirt, a child at heart, eager to conquer the world,  but based on my appearance, I get discriminated a lot. I get it–I make people feel nervous.

I don’t care if people don’t believe in me.  All I know is I am quite confident in myself.  When I wake up each day, I think of my day as a fresh start. One little step I make is closer to my goal. If I don’t understand something then I will sit and learn.   And when it’s time to face the ultimate boss, I would have gathered all the resources and be fully equipped for the final battle. As long as I live, I still have a chance to do things better, to get better, and I won’t stop until my final rest. Sometimes I admit, I need to learn how to ask for help when I feel like I am drowning.  And I do feel it, but I will be okay. I will only ask for help when I’m on the verge of being K.O!

I am feeling so good right now.  I will wake up refreshed in the morning ready to battle work.

Anyway, I hope you guys stay strong even if life is tough whoever you are. If you think you are alone, you’re not. Have courage and you can do it! Until next time, take care.