Oh the Woes of the Millennial!

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I hate any word associated with death, hospital and illness.  Death all around is what I see lately. Technology kills the babies. Where are the summer days of youth, when we laid down on the green grass, staring at blue sky, licking ice cream cone? When I had hope that the world will become better, but is it really better?

History reads like a horror story. It’s all craziness.  Then came cartoons. It taught kids to fight evil and become strong, but are we really fighting evil at this age in time? Are we just all hopeless narcissists who can’t handle the truth? We are small, very small.

When I was 5, inside the classroom, I had hope staring at the poster of a globe with people of all colors holding hands. We had dreams. Big dreams.  Thought humanity was making progress. What happen to those days?

It’s lawless now or is it just that Mom made everything felt so safe that I didn’t think twice about how mad the world is.

Gloomy sky all the time. Lover of flesh always die.

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are

In the winter, I went shopping and tried on many coats, but I thought what’s the point? I already have a lot of coats.

In the spring, I went on a date by myself. Why not? I can treat myself out occasionally.

In the summer, I  went to a ball game. I almost fell asleep on the chair out of boredom. I don’t understand the rules.

Now it’s mid-fall, all I want to do is drink hot chocolate.

In the end, it doesn’t matter where you are, you can’t run from yourself.

Unless, you are literally in hell…I don’t think you have time to be depressed. Instead, you’d be in survival mode just like Rooney from NightCry.

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Come on, if a monster is chasing you, are you going to just stand still and wait for it to rip you up? Nah, I think I am going to slap it back to hell.  STAY DOWN GLOOMY FEELINGS!!

 

 

 

I Feel

Near Port Orchard

Underneath the grey sky

When things are quiet and subtle

My heart begins to move with the waves

I feel safe

I feel free, and

yet hidden.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Thoughts on Shenmue: Short but Sweet

Today I feel especially happy. So happy I was skipping from work to home. It might be the effect of the booze I had during social hour at work (it’s a way for the company to get us introvert workers to mingle and talk) that is giving me this happy feeling. But more so, I think it has to do with it being Friday and I completed the first Shenmue installment. To my surprise, I didn’t know that I was so close to completing it. Wow, I kind of like how short the game is compared to games these days which require over 50 plus hours.

Despite it being short, I can tell the developers carefully craft the game. It’s a fine cup of tea. I enjoyed the thoughtful dialogue. Each NPC is different and not mass produced like Final Fantasy X.  There is nothing more annoying than bumping into clones. I like some imperfection and some distinction between the characters I interact with.  I was also quite fond of the changing season and the changing time.  Overall, I felt satisfied buying a” ticket” to  Japan with my gift card that I earned from work. Just play Shenmue, it feels as if I have been transported to Japan.  Life is so much simpler without the traveling part.  Plus in the game, I only need to sleep and investigate. There wasn’t a time I need to eat or use bathroom. Those two things I can live without.

So to celebrate my accomplishment (yes, I beat a game, and therefore it’s an achievement) I will share some of the special moments I enjoyed about the game that made me reflect on my own life and what I’d like to improve. After all, video game to me is just time out from reality which I often like to refer to as my cigarette break. So I list three:

1) Work– There was a period in my life where I had a hard time looking for a job. It doesn’t help that I have a soft personality.  Over the years, I learned to be assertive out of desperation just like Ryo who literally asked everyone at the harbor for work.  Most of the people would tell him they are not looking for new people and that work at the harbor is not easy.  I hate such discouragement because it reminds me of my own life–I was often told I can’t handle the work.  At that point in the game, I got a little frustrated because every person I turn to wasn’t helpful. One example is the homeless guy who said: “Son, do I look gainfully employed to you?” He later on said if you want to be unemployed just come back and talk to him.  I really appreciate the humor.  Perhaps in real life, generally speaking, if you looking for something–you ought to associate yourself with those who can provide you the tools and answers you need for success.  There are some people out there who can really give you bad advice and have a negative influence on your life. Personally, I think I have met some very wonderful people whom I can called my second family.  Without them, I think I would be a lost soul. They are always encouraging me to step up and grow. I am in fact, in the process, of refining my skills for a new venture.

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2) Health–The statement below is so accurate. “Health is the most important thing,” so take care of yourself.  I try to live a somewhat healthy lifestyle. I get my dose of exercise by walking to work.  In addition, naturally I like to eat vegetables. Good for me. However, what is not so good is my struggle for protein. I don’t like to eat meat. If I eat meat, it will cure my lack of energy for gaming? Hehe.

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3) Partner– They say loneliness is the number 1 killer. It’s more toxic than consuming cigarettes. Unfortunately in my life, this is the part where I need work the most. Although I am a bit hesitant to get into a relationship. I am perfectly content being single.  If you are single, you get a lot of pressure from family, and even from the opposite sex.  Just because I am single, some guys think I am lonely. What an insult.  To be honest, the reason why I am single is because I have a lack of interest in dating. The chance of meeting the right person is slim.  The solution? I thought of meticulously designing a fake boyfriend so people will stop pestering me.   But if I were to choose an actual partner, I’m not all that picky, like Mai, I just want an honest, hard working man–a guy with a big heart. No crazy people please! I am sensitive to stress.

I really had  a good time with Shenmue.  I did struggle a bit with quick time event and the fighting part. But that is to be expected.  I had fun. It kept me alert and focused. I like that feeling!

Until next time, I’ll be in Hong Kong. Maybe this time I will finally get to meet the mysterious girl in the cover of the game. Oh how I appreciate some romance! Life without it, is kind of boring and dull.